Shadow Play

An angry young man?

Feels like we are in the home stretch to dropping more information about the release CODE OF HONOR Vol. 1 from Hybrid Shoot, some tremendous interviews we’d been chasing for, well, years finally coming into place while attempts made at others didn’t come to fruition, and curating a little video playlist that I’ll eventually drop here on Substack to go along with the reading. Quite frankly, it’s a top ten scariest moment of my life knowing something I’ve worked so hard at is going to be consumed/judged/reviewed/ranked/critiqued/shredded/appreciated/hated by the public in short order, but over the last five years of this project, I’ve had to come to terms with that reality. One would think I’d gotten accustomed to such potential character/creative assassination coming into wrestling at the height of the ROH Message Board, a point in time where one risked their spirit being broken just by reading what fans thought of you at a time when you already felt you had no business being in a ring baring those three letters alongside the names now enshrined as ROH legends.

That same fear of what might be said about my work was more than teenage me could bear, so I wrote for myself, while letting a few others see the work over the years. This is one of those pieces that I look back on now and still feel the anger in words, the pain in each line, and can slide myself into the body of the kid who wrote them with a pretty strong memory of the heartbreak that spawned each syllable chosen. It’s only now, thirty-plus years removed the inciting (inspiring?) pain, that I open this book up to any member of the world willing to put their eyeballs to work for a few moments. Each page in my black book is insight into the world that built me, even those I don’t remember unlock something, and in it’s own way that may also be the point of CODE OF HONOR. Unlock Ring of Honor for someone who never experienced it, bring them into the world that helped shape what pro wrestling looks like in 2026, and even teach me a little more about the three letters I poured my own heart and soul into for a decade, saying nothing of these last five years…

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Dream the dream of a thousand lies

pain’s the reality your brain still denies

the truth so painful you cannot accept

turn and ignore the tears that you’ve wept

run while you can, no use to hide

from the darkness you feel deep inside

the more you try, the harder it seems

feel the burn as your soul does scream

trip into darkness, fall through the light

faster and farther, you’re losing your sight

spinning through void

with your heart they have toyed

once blissful soul, through anger destroyed

trapped in unknown, rage has grown

shadow dancings become your home

with the pain that’s made you real

before the god of fear you kneel

touched by the hand, you start to shudder

through clenched teeth you barely mutter

sounds of the hell within

‘neath the layer of burning skin

feel the fire as it grows

see the darkness no one knows